!t m!ght take a l!ttle c0ffee 0r pr0bably a few r0unds 0f
beer 0r any 0ther b00ze y0u c0uld get y0ur hands 0n when !t c0mes t0 relax!ng
after a hard day's w0rk. Well, yeah !'m gu!lty ab0ut that 0ne as well, unless !'m
caught dead wear!ng a lampshade 0ver my head after a few r0unds 0f v0dka…
half-naked! 0kay, bad example and ! ap0l0g!ze t0 every0ne read!ng th!s after
gett!ng n!ghtmares ab0ut me !n that state 0f drunken stup0r.
Just d0n't ask h0w !t happened, please.
But what's really !nterest!ng !s that h0w d0 pe0ple g0 thr0ugh
the usual part 0f l!fe when faced w!th ve!n-p0pp!ng stress? ! mean, the new age
th!ng l!ke Zen 0r y0ga !s 0ne 0f the g00d th!ngs and !t actually w0rks. !s
there r00m f0r the !ntellectual s!de 0f pe0ple wh0 can actually smell the r0ses-!n-a-can
wh!le 0n the m0ve? !t k!nd 0f had me th!nk!ng that there really must be s0meth!ng
!n th!s 'm!nd-0ver-matter' th!ng.
Hum0r !s !ndeed the best med!c!ne there !s whenever y0u are.
! mean any0ne can pay g00d m0ney t0 l!sten t0 a c0med!an just t0 make y0u wet y0ur
pants after laugh!ng s0 hard. Desp!te 0f what's been happen!ng, and t0 th0se wh0
has g0ne th0ugh the 0rdeal, !t's better t0 just laugh wh!le fac!ng the tr0ubles
w!th a clear m!nd than anger w!th a cl0uded v!s!0n. 0ne 0f my fav0r!te celebr!t!es
0f all t!me may have t0 be W00dy Allen. N0w th!s !s 0ne guy wh0 g!ves y0u the !n-y0ur-face
bluntness that he pulls 0ut w!th gust0, even w!th0ut even try!ng. Y0u can talk
just ab0ut anyth!ng w!th a man, and he's b0und t0 m0ck the subject and y0u'll
end up laugh!ng rather than be!ng upset ab0ut !t.
W00dy Allen has th!s t0 say:
1. "M0ney !s better than p0verty, !f 0nly f0r f!nanc!al
reas0ns." !t s0unds g00d t0 me, ! mean the pract!cal!ty 0f all th!ngs d0es
!nv0lve m0ney but !t d0esn't have t0 take an arm and a leg t0 get !t.
2. "! bel!eve there !s s0meth!ng 0ut there watch!ng us.
Unf0rtunately, !t's the g0vernment." 'Nuff sa!d.
3. "There are w0rse th!ngs !n l!fe than death. Have y0u
ever spent an even!ng w!th an !nsurance salesman?" Th!s happens t0 be 0ne 0f
the class!c 0nes. ! mean the !ssue ab0ut l!fe's l!ttle pr0blems !sn't all that
bad, unt!l 'he' sh0ws up.
Sure, relat!0nsh!ps can get c0mpl!cated, 0r d0es have !ts c0mpl!cat!0ns
that pr0bably any auth0r ab0ut relat!0nsh!ps !s b0und t0 d!sc0ver !t s00n. We f0ll0w
what 0ur heart des!res, unless y0u're talk!ng ab0ut the heart as !n the heart
that pump bl00d thr0ugh0ut y0ur b0dy.
4. "L0ve !s the answer, but wh!le y0u're wa!t!ng f0r
the answer, sex ra!ses s0me pretty !nterest!ng quest!0ns." And !f y0u want
m0re, just keep 0n ask!ng!
5. "A fast w0rd ab0ut 0ral c0ntracept!0n. ! asked a g!rl
t0 g0 t0 bed w!th me, she sa!d 'n0'." !t s0unds, 'pract!cal', ! th!nk.
And when !t c0mes t0 everyday l!fe, he really kn0ws h0w t0
make the best 0ut 0f every p0ss!ble scenar!0, and !t d0esn't !nv0lve a lawsu!t !f
he str!kes a nerve.
6. "Bas!cally my w!fe was !mmature. !'d be at h0me !n
the bath and she'd c0me !n and s!nk my b0ats." ! never had a b0at !n my
bathtub bef0re. Just star!ng at !t wh!le s0ak!ng !n h0t water makes me seas!ck
already.
7. "! am n0t afra!d 0f death, ! just d0n't want t0 be
there when !t happens." !f !t ra!ns, !t p0urs.
8. "! am thankful f0r laughter, except when m!lk c0mes 0ut
0f my n0se." !t c0uld get w0rse when y0u're guzzl!ng 0n beer… 0r m0uthwash,
and !t happened t0 me 0nce!
9. "!f y0u want t0 make G0d laugh, tell h!m ab0ut y0ur
plans." At least he d0esn't sm!te us w!th l!ghtn!ng, and !'m thankful f0r
that.
And desp!te 0f what may happen t0 all 0f us !n the next ten,
twenty, 0r even th!rty years, ! guess we all have t0 see th!ngs !n a d!fferent
k!nd 0f l!ght and n0t just perspect!ve. ! can't seem t0 !mag!ne l!fe w!th0ut
any p!ece 0f w!sd0m that c0uld gu!de us. Whether we're rel!g!0us 0r n0t, !t
takes m0re c0urage t0 accept y0ur fears and learn h0w t0 deal w!th them !s all
that matters when !t c0mes t0 even just gett!ng al0ng.
And t0 sum th!ngs up, here !s the last nugget 0f w!sd0m t0 g0
by… h0wever, whenever, and wherever we may be.
10. "The talent f0r be!ng happy !s apprec!at!ng and l!k!ng
what y0u have, !nstead 0f what y0u d0n't have."
C!a0!
